> 09/02/2026
Welcome back! ... to myself, I suppose. Long gone is the time I suggested updating monthly in this here corner of mine. It is February of a new year and this place has been gathering dust; so let me update you! A lot has, of course, happened.
First, I knew getting a Master's Degree would be challenging, of course, but DEAR GOD did this semester consume me. I had little time for myself, which I generally slept through, out of spite. My first semester concluded, leaving me so drained I'm only now, on the first day of my second semester, touching my computer to actually write something long and coherent. Regardless, I think I worked well, managing to squeeze a 17.5/20 average out of it. My perfectionist self is saying that it is not enough, but I still want to present that as admirable. I hope it is.
Maybe if the odds were in my favor I might have still updated this site in January. Unfortunately the weather has been so severe, constantly rainy with storms and floodings, that it has generally not been a pretty moment to live through. I was largely unharmed by it, but the Internet connection did go out for long enough to be inconvenient (around 5 days, I believe, crossing into February). I took the opportunity of this disconnection to catch up on my reading, having read two books: Blindsight, by Peter Watts; and Grey Dog, by Elliot Gish. Both of these books are still simmering and turning in my mind, and I did want to talk about both of them, especially the latter, with some interest.
Blindsight
Blindsight by Peter Watts is a hard sci-fi book, and my introduction to the genre. As such, I'm not able to tell you how exceptional or ordinary it might be inside the genre - I am told it is a landmark of sorts in it - but I did genuinely have a good time reading it. For the most part, for the bits I am familiar with. I am a psychology major with an infatuation for all things neuropsychology, but BY JOVE I had trouble deciphering the remaining vocabulary. I read this with no Internet to look meanings up, and any physical dictionary, by chance available, would be elementary and Portuguese.
Here begins one of the few personal complaints I have with the book. Only a mild annoyance: it is so dense in technological terms. Some are appropriately explained, but others you are left hanging about! Maybe it is the focus of the book on consciousness that warrants greater explanation of psychological terms, but I didn't need those!! I needed the rest: the biologic terms and the physics of things were not aspects I could easily comprehend as a reader. The terms that I knew, I knew them as an academic. Additionally, and if I misread it I'll eat my words, the description of blindsight as explained in the book is either incorrect or outdated, which was somewhat silly to me.
Furthermore, the book, while somewhat long, is quite exclusively concentrated on discussions of consciousness from a speculative point of view. Other threads in it presented, such as the entire psychological profile of the main character (which I found fascinating!), superficially overlap but are never tied together explicitly, leaving me a bit dissatisfied at the sight of some missed potential. Maybe this sort of things will be revealed to me on a re-read.
Yet and indeed the book was a great read for me. It presented me with ways I hadn't yet considered consciousness and alien life to be possible. I'm always fascinated by how creatively people envision these possibilities. Not to mention space vampires!! Ayo!! As a vampire connoisseur, it delighted me to read about Sarasti and all the speculative biology involved in his kind. I'm actively trying to get a friend of mine to read this book, though more than likely it will fall on deaf ears.
Grey Dog
This one by Elliot Gish is, admittedly, fresher on my mind but also immature on my opinions. Equally, I loved reading it. It is a female led and centered gothic story, in woodsy aesthetics and a village setting. These are things I'm more familiar with, and consequently more critical of. [unfortunately, to be continued; it's gotten to 1 AM and I'm tired, but I have thoughts on female rage as a genre]
> 04/10/2025
Next in line: uniformize the stuff between OC and Movie Log Index! augh this pages has so much code im getting lost in it... Also! Need to learn JS for the journal to actually work heehee...
> 01/08/2025
Hello! It's the first of the month! I didn't tell you but I planned to write an entry here every month, despite if anything happened.
And nothing happened! Not much could have occurred in the 10 or so days since I last wrote here, given that I didn't go out much, and everything is standard for a semi-shut in summer :P. Nothing worth sharing, anyway.
I did finish the movie section of the here webbed site, sort of, which means all of the buttons in our homepage finally have a path! and so do all of the other tree stations. No, I don't know any tech terms, I'm making these up! Additionally, I've started on working on the art, specifically for Celia and Croner, but like I said I'm way out of practice, and maybe I'll see to relearn some basics before I jump headfirst into whats missing for the site.
I'm not very satisfied with it, the current drawing has very little contrast and looks a tad muddy. I think I overdid the number of shades in her face, or something, I'm not sure. I may have also chosen too small of a canvas. But anyway. The reason I even brought my OC's up, aside from keeping this site updated on the tasks I still have left for it, is cause I thought it would be fun to talk a bit more about them, how they came up and what I even plan to do with them. The short question to that last question is: "Nothing!", but I still have more to say.
They both started, and still are, sims! heeheehee... I used to be a very big sims player and would create all kind of characters, with a certain predilection for occult/type sims. Some highlights are my 10-or-so makeovers of Vladislaus Straud, and all the maxis vampires, my alien family Terranova, the werewolf on fire lookout tower, the motel hijinks, and All My Vampires ever. I really like playing with vampires. And I really like playing in strangerville. Behold! Strangerville Vampires. A match made in . uh . yeah... somewhere. I first made Croner, and he needed friends; then I made Celia, and she also needed friends. Nowadays I don't play much with them, but they stuck around in my Brain. Actually looking back, they haven't changed much, aside from removing them from sims lore, but they have definitely toned down.
So, some background first, about sims vampire lore, if you dont know!
The Sims Lore
The vampires in the sims have lore that is interconnected with werewolves and spellcasters/witches (and maybe fairies?), but I'll keep it brief and focus solely on the vampire front of the sims lore, filling in the blanks with my own stuff because it's always been MY game ok. To start, Vampires are a defective version of spellcasters, borne from an unsucceful spell for immortality. Personally, I like to insert L. Faba into the this vampire lore, as she's the most vampire looking out of the spellcaster mages...? Eh? Maybe she's reformed, idk, but I typically cast her as the patient 0 for vampirism, or a descendant from them. Anyway, seeing potential in this new form, Vampires took for domination and expansion outside the spellcaster realm. Werewolves were invented to counter this effort, and, though we don't care about that right now, it's important to know that a full war broke out between these new spellcasting forms. As the vampires continue on their quest for (westward) expansion, one vampire is notorious: Vladislaus Straud. Though the populus doesn't know much about this reclusive vampire, who outsiders only learn of from the organ playing from the Straud Mansion at night, we see through his line of ancestry, his spitting image, the original Vlad - who is totally not the same guy don't worry about it. 200 years ago, there was part of a settling party, 25 men strong, of which only Vlad survived. It is impossible to say how it happened, or even how Vlad saw the whole thing, reclusive as he is, outside of the fact he chose to erect Forgotten Hollow at the place of their demise or defeat, in their honor, with 24 tombstone adorning his mansion at the top of the town. It is a sleepy place, with only one more household living in it, the Vatore siblings, Lilith and Caleb, the two of them with differing opinions about the Mayor. Both of them vampires, they do not have the same sire. Where Lilith welcomed the dark arts in curiosity looking up to Vlad, Caleb had seen himself turning immortal unwilling, by Miss Hell, who herself had been turned by Vlad. The vampire bloodlines are indeed a bit messy, but that is ok, as I think ive reached the end of the summary. So, how do we get to my characters, my sims, my little guys?
Croner Izzard
Whereas Vlad is the last pioneer surviving on unknown land, Croner started out as the one abandoned in his own house. After the forces sweeped through the town, Croner was either a forgotten fledgeling in his house in the heat of the rampage, or left out to burn in the sun, as some kind of torture or warning. He woke duly scorched, but conscious enough to remeber what happen, and to fear what was to come. Around him is a desert, with no one in sight. No one to tether him to his humanity in his first years, as he'd feed on cows and any wayward folk that pass by. It would have been twenty years or so till the town begins to repopulate, and rebuild. And for the stench of the disappearing travelers by the Hollow House to reach the surrounding new growth. This doesn't seem to reach vampire hunter ears, as the new folk seem... preoccupied with some other alien life form. Soon enough, the town is lively, with bars and libraries reopening. Lively enough for children to play in the square, and for him to find one at his doorstep.
Celia Longo
Celia isn't so integrated into sims lore as is Croner. Though prior to the Mother Plant infecting everyone, Celia was there, and facilitated the population of this town, particularly with those more artistically inclined, who would go to her parties to mingle. I didn't really have her backstory planned at the time, she was just a wandering vampire that had found a quiet enough place to stand out, while not putting herself and her guests in danger. In the desert, it was easy enough to find an abandoned house that would suit her needs, and her parties. With time, and with the parties i threw in game and the many side character I had created, she had. many odd relationships and a fiance, which also stuck enough in my brain, for her to Survive past the sims (also theres. some effort here as her house was HELL to build)
The two would have originally met through Croner finding her parties loud and disturbing, posting a complaint at her door. The characters and their dynamic hasn't changed much, aside from added details, and removing them from the sims universe. While they're very much two stagnant people, they are facing opposite directions, and they keep trying to get the other to face the same way. Nowadays, they live in a fictional town called Flatpine, though tbh I've flirted with the idea of making them spanish ngl...
This makes it so their current descriptions on this site arent final, and in fact I tweak them from time to time, which is also why they are so choppy to read, sorry!! More markedly, I've removed all the introspection into Celia's mental state through it all, which is grim and insecure, and also regarding Gregorio I have removed the more clear allusions to psychotic hallucinations, as I deliberate whether they are a) a good idea in character; b) a good idea for the game; and c) sensible.
But alas! That's all for today... Xiaohongshu!!
P.S.: Oh my god I'm looking currently at the first screnshots I have of both of them. Croner hasn't changed much but Celia was so skinny??? huhh?? that's insane...
> 19/07/2025
By god! It's already 1 AM when I type this, but I've been working on this page the whole (yester)day.
So! What is this going to be?
So glad you asked, voice in my head!
At the base level, I'll write about anything I want to here, both in terms of what I've messed with on the site, as well as anything going on with me. Additionally, I might compile here any research I've done and/or incorporated into my OCs. We'll see, though. Originally!, I would use this log to chapter my playthrough of Thousand Yeard Old Vampire, but I haven't finished cleaning up Gregorio to that effect, so it'll take a while on that front! I'll have to think of a good organizing system to that effect. Still, I'll reiterate to anyone that comes across this to take their time exploring! There's really nothing hidden, or anything, but I hope it's still worthwhile.
> What's next for the site?
At this time, I'm looking forward to move my movie log to here!!! Though I'm still not very sure how to go about it. Also, I'll have to start working on the art profiles for my characters, which is most daunting. I have not drawn a finished piece in YEARS.
Logging off, now! Goodnight!!
About Me
Good morning! I'm lawnclown. I started this website as a more hidden, tucked away corner to store many notes, logs and any creative endeavors I might pursue, despite it all. I have many and no interests at once. I like medieval history, vampires, folk practices and birds. I have a cat that I love to death. I'm tired all the time, I stutter often, and I try my best.
You're welcome to wander, peruse, no one is in a rush here.
